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Strong as he was

Cappy Jack ©2006

So this was utopia or as close to it as you could get to it and still live in peace and prosperity. We knew that to be true and that was enough. Enough of that very gloomy feeling in most of the world; we had it all. Like minded attract and there was no getting used to this part of the world, free from strife. And for good reason the people of this land lived in harmony, We had control. We kept ourselves small by sorting a lot. The ones who got to stay lived in harmony. Sent out to the strife in the world were the ones with fears that could lash back but not here. This was the spot to be if you wished to live in harmony.

“Davey’s being moved today.”

“How do you know?” Her husband sat close by, stretched closer with his body, it was so strange to know a move beforehand, he thought.

“Gloria told me all about his asocial behavior. You have to Travel.” Now her firm mouth jutted out and his chin pulled in.

“I’ve traveled three times this month. It’s not fair.”

Travel was going a distance to another place without a Watcher, maybe. Moving to another room to Watch was normal, Travel wasn’t. His son moved to another room to be Watched. Watching irked him but not as much as Traveling. Whatever your fears were you got to face them Traveling somewhere on earth for real, for a time, hopefully to return for another try just moving. Davey’s Dad had been close to war several times and came back shocked into silence. Davey was only moving rooms but his Dad seemed to be moving out. ‘Fucking Hell’, he felt his brow from that expression. What could make him smile? He would try to trade Travel for more Watching. His Watcher role at the seventeen level was taxing and he dealt with a sizable group of children sometimes sending them off to travel. He had met several kids ‘out there’ himself serving a sentence.

The trade off of Traveling for Watching was time and effort for anybody; both required objectivity and interaction. Your alone time was limited and that made you mundane.

t wouldn’t be watching his son Davey that irked him, no, you never watched your kids. Too much invested to be objective. And that was the point that jerked him around the most. ‘Those fuckers’, he had Davey’s outlook and had to pay for it. But to be told in advance was an insult; like a knuckle sandwich, a meanness repaid. His wife was smug as being the one to tell him, that let her off. If both parents were told, well, that’s the big time. Asocial assholes were not tolerated and schools like these winnowed the psychopaths and brutal sociopaths off into their own land, usually alone. This move in Davey’s development at his age was only marred by his parents hearing about it first. Normally the child brought home the breathless news and told them everything.

Chapt. 2

            As strong as he was he couldn’t lift it. He learned that this was a lid for later. Locks were news to come when toys and tools were split. Tommy was 33 months and years ahead in coordination and poise. He paused for a moment, looking at the lid, flexing his muscles all over, giving up by looking for the Watcher. Gloria was over by Bernice who had all of her attention. Tommy smiled and walked his wandering walk among the busy children in the room. The mid-morning warmth came through with a breeze through the open windows. His blond hair blew a bit as he bowed his head to look at two toddlers at play. Or was it?

            What passed for a school was more. It was perfect in sorting, sorting out the ways that humans have for living. And this sorting was for waves of a sort, particles that made their way and made things, things that worked.

“I’ll bet you wish you were sucking on your Mom’s tits right now….you big baby.”

Davey spoke with a wry smile twisting his lips and making so many noises outside the words.

“No, I’m not, but I miss the feel of them.”

 Jimmy was sincere and not surprised at Davey’s touchstone remark. He wasn’t up for the next level no matter what the Watcher said…or didn’t say, sometimes he read their faces and body language and that was enough. He was sitting with his shirt comfortably riding up over a full belly, his legs scissored in loose pants close to bare feet.

“I felt them once.”

Tommy caused both boys to look up at him, Jimmy put down the frustrating wooden puzzle that prompted Davey’s remark. 

“You are not my family. How then?”

Jimmy looked askance with slack jaw and averted eye.

“She was a watcher in my other room. I didn’t know you then. She bent down to tie my shoe one day. I was spread legged and wobbly so I grabbed her left one. It felt good so I reached for the right one and we bumped heads. Didn’t get that one since she had to grab me by the shirt front to catch me from falling; we both laughed.”

A smile at the end, Tommy was sweet on groping women but now the Watchers knew this. The grading would be sure to place him with others for a lesson. He couldn’t hide his natural inclination at this age. All the Watchers had to do was observe. They interacted on demand. They assessed each child to a level of care, moving them around a bit, to other rooms and subtle time changes. Musical chairs in a garden of Eden, a thought which made many Watchers laugh out loud, sometimes startling the unwary, the one with the narrowest aura, who could be reached by exuberance, or the reverse like Tommy now.

“Ha! Hoity, hoie, hoi!”

His burble bubbled his lips and he crossed eyed to look. The two boys AND the Watcher, who always looked to a laugh, laughed too.

“I feel rain.”

“You are full of shit.”

This comment from Davey was noticed by Gloria who quickly tilted her head back to avert her eyes; in the same way flaring her nostrils to breathe deeply the sweet first scent of muggy summer rain.

“Davey, may I speak to you?” A Watcher was objective. There was no fear to interact with them. He smiled and ambled over to her side.

“I want to show you a new room, Davey. Come with me.” She put out her hand and walked with him to another room, across a hub of spoked rooms and left him with Frank, the Watcher of the day. Davey was thrilled at all the new things to see. The children ignored him but that didn’t matter, he was respectful of others. Just his vulgar ness with language brought him here.  Gloria called his Mom and told her Davey was moved to an Earthy room.  She did it because Davey had prejudiced her against his fun at telling them he was in a new room. Wow! That meanness was to come for young Davey and a lesson that meanness starts with your mouth. His father felt it all day before Davey did. And a Watchers tale about watching your mouth was retold from son to Father. Both learned and at that moment when they met, a smile escaped both their lips but not their thoughts.

“Silly fucker.”

“My old man.”

The rooms at this small age of a child’s experience were rudimentary; Fire, water, earth, space. And all a Watcher had to decide in moving a child at this age was that they had enough of that child. In this way the winnowing into big populations was swift. Asocial traits were shunted off to allow a fearless existence for many.

It was true. The sunlight shrank through the trees. The air smelled of rain with the first large drops clearing space for the others. The tribal authority took over with each person doing what they knew had to be done, the children especially looking to their own safety, as the fear of weather was a first, a founder of the basis for their future motivations. There wasn’t much to do, the weather storm was a blessing to water everything and brief to dry into the evening. The heat came back to slow them down again. Mid-day in July fanned by sea breezes was so comfortable that the afternoon was quiet, peaceful, and full of the tranquility that comes from an absence of fear. An ingrained response to fear of the weather had exhausted the children, their autonomic responses required a lot of movement in the bright, but not hot, not too hot, by the Watcher, who moved even less, but felt the heat more. The room was almost cube shaped, the ceiling was occupied at the top with a framework, almost a catwalk that climbers adored. To get up there without the aid of a Watcher was a feat some big, brave kids did, usually as a show, a finishing with the fascination for that particular risk. More children would follow the Watcher way after witnessing its sure success to your own level. Safety first! The fear of self injury was associated with the earth and release from the fear was automate, too, after a repetitive routine; an important interruption in an otherwise harmonious Life triggered by some fear. The trick was not to balance fear but shrink it to the individual’s level of balance. By shunning fear, turning their backs on the fears they cannot control or imagine, children showed the Watchers that they had peace at heart. They stayed with large populations in the different rooms they played in, enjoying themselves in the absence of real fear, they developed virtual fears. Winnowing down a Davey to a small asocial population took his irritating presence from the group. He may change or make his way to sociopath level, or psychopath, who was Watched the least and alone the most, suicides were silent. The silly remark that Davey said to Jimmy set him on his path, his choice to join in harmony or go away.  ‘Next room, Davey.’ thought the Watcher, Gloria. She smiled at Jimmy which brightened him up again, caught Tommy looking at her breasts, and shunned Davey’s eyes. His were shifty for a few moments and then picked a spot for a long moment, then shifty around the room some more, looking for his friends, finding none, he hung his head.

 Putting real risks out echoed the fear lessons and helped the ‘musical chairs’ process weed out the fearless and the fearful for further watching. To graduate from being with Watchers, each child must balance fear and risk and demonstrate good sense; nothing more.  And each child gained independence in a different way, their way though a labyrinth of checks for balance judged by the Watchers.  Possibly they may plunge into a society full of happiness; the size of the group was their decision by their repetitive actions, their handling of fear, responding appropriately every time.

            “Billy got moved again.” Seth said with a plain eye to Sharon, She said nothing, just had a look, a look that said everything and didn’t need to.

“That boys moving around, he is.”

“No complaints?” A tone from him that was joking, was funny to hear, she smiled.

“No, I’d expect that, all our choice. She heard.dis will be shuffled, from this and that.”  The practical expressed itself through her movements, her shoulders shrugged, her eye lids moved slowly down, Seth felt his shivers for her, his feelings came to the outside.

“Glad that he moved up?” He hoped and it was in his voice, all of it to be heard, from this moment on, for all eternity, he hoped.

“Moved up? She gave a shout that was heard; all places could remember this episode, this change in the lives of so many, so quickly, and in full view, of everybody, so some say.

A move meant Watching and she had enough, was ready to run the other way. She completely shunned it. Not meeting the eyes of all around her gave a little fear to the group, but not enough to act otherwise, she was beautiful and he was quite handsome. The beauty of the age reflected in these two content but intense persons living close to people who felt sorry enough to say it to you if they thought that they offended you. Watching it and mirroring it back was the key to harmony. They pulsed with everyone else, a bright spot to be admired, the Watchers where they were, were noticing. Sharon thought she knew the male.

Tommy went up the ladder to Watcher at five. He was lead into a laboratory at four and did everything right. He Watched. And when he spoke to his host, a serious researcher, he had no idea what the man would do with what he said. He said a lot that helped and was placed On Watch. That meant he moved around a lot. To rooms that had skilled workers willing to show off for him. Keep their place with their happiness, their fearlessness at facing research, his Watching had the most reflected looks. They sought his approval above all else.

They got around his groping woman by supplying him with women who liked sex. Tommy was orgasming at seven and fathered his first child at nine. His Watchers were thrilled at his progress.  He stopped moving at his own insistence at eleven and greatness eluded him, these were the years of the thirteen year olds. Make it by then or ‘Bye Bye’, back to the backwater, ‘Where ya came from!’ and shouted as often as possible to all guffaws from those close enough to hear or wanting to.

“Billy, where ya come from?” Tommy was in full stride and his head extended up as he spoke.

“Here and there and you?” Billy’s Watcher was intent as Billy did an incredible series of moves on his bike. His balance was effortless, his skill was possessed by an easy spirit. Billy knew no bounds and that was his absence of fear. Tommy felt moved to show his pirouette, a move he recently learned to do with intense aloneness, now to show off. He caught Billy’s eye and they lit up together again.

To meet a child again in another room was fortuitous. You knew someone, someone with a past, a family, a notion of identity, a trust from fear, at least to your own lack of or balance of whichever meant the most to you at the time. And at that time, Billy and Tommy were at cross roads, wary of each other but more aware than anything else. And willing to promote harmony even to the point of serving time, as Watchers, who couldn’t? Who wouldn’t? Both boys felt the burden they would carry gladly all their lives to live in harmony. To give up fearing didn’t make fearlessness or recklessness go away, it only focused the effort to the proper place. And in this room the children could risk all they wanted to with what they had Watcher Waried or tried alone. There weren’t many children in this room and everyone, almost, had a Watcher. To stay in this room was a choice towards the physical over mental risks. Billy didn’t have much to say. He only listened when he was breathing a break from riding. Tommy caught up with him and lapsed into physical exercise, enjoying himself immensely in this way for the first time. He would be moved quickly from this room but brought back to one like it often. Some day, a team room, for his interest in woman would make him want to dance with them as well.

‘Ah…Tommy would be, no, could be a great ballroom dancer.’ Her private thoughts followed her Watchers eyes looking at Tommy spin once more. She thought her arms were around Tommy like they were when she danced in the ball room. Memories made her would when she wished she could right now. Miriam was sixty and serving her Watcher duty as often as her legs would go.  Around her the children moved quickly, with poise, balance and fearlessness. The rudiments of team were expressed at the boundaries of each child’s personal space. They did not interact nor touch, they were in silent harmony with each others aura, brushing up against each others timing, tempo and tolerance. How Miriam thrilled when she thought she made eye contact with Tommy, a glance from him was all. The thought of looking into a strange boys eyes, holding his arms while he held hers in a dance lead by each others tiny fear, was one she hoped Tommy could have at the right moment. She expected to see him in this room more often and looked forward to it. Her smile broadened, a change of position, a relaxed stance of enjoyment, her whole aura caught Billy’s eye for a glance. His bike fell and he stutter stepped to a stop.








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written using Microsoft Visual Web Developer 2005 Express Edition