PERKY TALES

Volume Two – Name that Teen

Squanto was my name to Teddy Bear. He got that from the tall goon who knew who the Last Mohican was. I had revealed my ancestry included American Indians. Choctaw to be exact, but that didn’t matter to Teddy Bear. He was tormenting me as Teddy Bear tortured him. His nickname came from his girlfriend. He admitted that she called him Teddy Bear. That stuck hard, and even the tall guy standing near his short stature was smiling at that call. He was an Andover throw over, if I recall, and looked down on us all…no, I really mean he was tall and very intelligent. Squanto only stuck with them and a few others briefly. People who needed to work with us used the name that drew our attention. Those two weren’t in my sphere at school.

Perkiomen was a microcosm of my existence at just the right time. I realize that I needed the structure of a positive environment and that was what they provided in spades. From Stanley the Janitor, who liked to repeat the same word play over and over, ”Did you hear about Sam and Janet?”, no reaction or a denial, “ Sam and Janet Evening” , he sang to a popular tune about the low light romance…he meant low life or so our arrogance told us, to Dr. Roberts, who hated Smooth’s and my nickname for him, 0069, printed in the Perkiomenite, on the front page, just below a photograph of him. Just a head shot but he was wearing a fedora and had a professional look about him. We spied that and ran with the reference to a popular fiction character who was also a spy – 007. You have to understand the power of NickNames.

I’d like to have a dictionary of the names we called each other. It would be enlightening to read the profundity of the banter that goes for conversation between teenage boys stuck together. The boarding school experience has a competitive edge you get from constant exposure. Even to the pain in the ass who keeps coming back, you present an appearance that can be construed. I liked the fact that people were expelled when they crossed the line but I still wanted to do it.